From comfort zone. To create another.
It all began over tea and in my comfort setting. Flash back by a decade. After the morning hustle of breakfast with my (ex) husband and getting my school going child ready and sent to school, I checked on my second child, who was an infant then. Snug and fast asleep that she was, I settled into my comfortable and warm kitchen chair, newspaper in hand. Gulf News. Yes, we lived in Dubai, the ‘Paris of the Middle East’.
As I slipped through the pages, one particular ad caught my attention. (I should have saved a cutting of that). The ad read that the agency specialized in Canadian Immigration besides others. Canada was on my mind, after having been smitten through the honeymoon pictures of my sister and her husband when they visited Victoria, BC.
The picturesque Canada together with my passion to live in North America (right through childhood), stories of neighbors and acquaintances moving and settling down “successfully” and the promise of the ad stirred up something in my soul.
The rest is history, as I am here now. Yes, in Canada!! That little dream and the chance sighting of the ad did fuel the change. And by change, I mean, a total flip in life. The decision making alone took over 6 months. Everything was to become different from what it was. Life was no longer the same, in any sense. Income, routine, culture, livelihood and even my marriage – everything changed.
The pain and the pleasure came in equal measure. No amount of google searches, research or information sessions could prepare me enough for real-time experiences. Even to this day, I meet several eligible, hopeful migrants from my home country or from Dubai who wish to migrate, but are sceptical and anxious about starting all over in life.
From experience, I can vouch that there is no formula that helps with a “should we” “shouldn’t we” question. It’s got to be a decision that stems from a desire, a desire that is highlighted with a few unbeatable pluses. The pluses in your desire has got to outweigh the minuses. Outweighing in terms of being prepared to face them just as you would do, in your current comfort zone.
From experience, I can also vouch for the fact that there is no “comfort zone”. There’s only familiar and unfamiliar territory. And I can say that it only takes a little time for the unfamiliar to morph into the familiar.
For me, the transition involved getting used to a DIY culture which was rare or rather non-existent in Dubai. While in Dubai, we were fortunate enough to have help at our beck and call – groceries were home-delivered by supermarkets, even if the order value amounted to just a few cents. Laundered clothes were pressed by the local “laundry man” and home-delivered. Which were then carefully stacked in respective closets by the live-in “house help”.
Cooking was an “activity” I could afford to indulge in based on my moods. There was always the part time cook who dropped in or I could order in from any in the long list of neighbourhood restaurants that were more than reasonably priced and offered free delivery (all year round).
Despite all of that, there was a lurking fear within – the fact that we would not be provided residency or citizenship and would have to return to our home country either by way of retirement, bankruptcy, death or illness of the sponsor (in our case it was my husband; men being sponsors is the norm in Dubai).
I preferred stability over any other comfort in life. A feeling of being grounded and not being forced to flee the land in the event of adversities. I prefer natural and clean surroundings to high rises and neon lights; humane society over haute couture. These were the basic pre-requisites I sought from the land of my choice and the rest were just bonuses. Free school education (for my children), free healthcare, exposure to an advanced and free thinking world and a whole gamut of other things.
My children fell in love with the place and would not trade it for anything in the world, they say. They blended and adjusted and adapted to the weather, the country and the culture effortlessly. Efforts fell on the shoulders of the adult, me.
Challenges came in the form of having to fend for myself and create a network, finding employment (which happened thanks to the newcomer job finding clubs that the government offers for free) and the endless grocery shopping trips – come rain or snow or sun. Bit by bit, things unfolded. My marriage ended and I had my fair share of heartbreaking disappointments. I often tend to imagine and compare this situation having occurred in my home country and I’m more than grateful that I weathered the storms without being dependent or being ostracized.
It’s strange, but true that the challenges I encountered in the country of my choice empowered me rather than defeat me in any sense. I took the lessons out of mistakes, thanks to my therapist (which is by the way, a world class service offered free by most companies to their employees).
I learned how to appreciate and dwell in the simple pleasures of life – enjoying the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, seasonal fruit picking at farms, the sheer extravagance of fall colors, the pristine and immaculate beauty of snow, the thrills and carefree spirit of summer and the celebration of new life in the spring.
Everything for me and my children was made possible by the systems and way of life in the country of our choice. I’m sure we all make necessary compromises to steer our life boat in the direction of our dreams. Each one of us is blessed with a secret intuitive power that enables our decision making and action oriented thoughts.
Whatever drives us to reach our dream destinations and act upon our life’s purpose, is unique to each one and that’s what makes our world a grand circus in the grander scheme of the Universe.
So, if any of you are still in the process of “should we” “shouldn’t we”, pay attention to that little voice within or that gentle tug in your heart. Have no doubt that it is pointing you in the direction you have to hoist your sails. That sure will be an answer to your quest for your life’s purpose. Trust your heart and your intuition. Staying back in a place for fear of losing things will attract the very same, eventually.
After all, it’s always better to pay for following your heart than paying for procrastination. Soul searching worked better for me over fact finding.
Cheers to new beginnings and beautiful journeys!!
By Sonia Jacob
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